Fieldnotes #02
On getting made redundant, having a fourth knee surgery, and the peculiar exhaustion of both happening at once.
April was eventful, and not in a good way.
Redundancy first. A significant number of us at cinch were let go — announced via a scripted, emotionless address that managed to convey nothing other than the fact that someone had prioritised process over people. Delivered right before the Easter bank holiday, which gave everyone a long weekend to really sit with the news. A masterclass in how not to do it.
I don’t have enormous bitterness about the redundancy itself. Companies overextend and correct. What sticks is the manner — the feeling that someone had weighed up basic decency against clean execution and made the wrong call. It costs nothing to be human about it.
Alongside that: fourth torn meniscus in five years. Twice on each knee, which is a statistic I could do without. This one came with a bone marrow oedema as a bonus. The meniscectomy was quick — I was fortunate — and by summer I was back walking the hills, which had been the goal.
There’s a particular kind of tired that comes from recovering from surgery while simultaneously job hunting. Not impossible. Just wearing in a way that’s hard to explain until you’ve done it.
The interview process, in case you’ve not encountered it recently, has lost its mind. Five, six, seven stages is now apparently normal. HR screen. Hiring manager call. Values and competencies. Technical test. Live session. Call to discuss the test. Call with a senior leader. Each one reasonable in isolation; together, a months-long unpaid audition.
I’ve hired people. I know what you’re trying to find out. It doesn’t require seven conversations. It requires discipline and a willingness to make a decision.
The feedback I got was a particular genre of useless. One rejection cited my “focus on management over individual contribution” — which is true, and also exactly what a Principal role involves. Another praised the values interview, then declined because they needed someone to “hit the ground running.” I’ve been doing this twenty years. What exactly does running look like?
The hills are helping. Arnside and Silverdale, which is quietly excellent. The job hunt continues — but the knee held up on a cargo net at Go Ape, which felt like a small victory worth noting.